Saturday, September 24, 2011

breaking up - the loss of identity

If I see you walking down the street
should I stroll on past - not even speak

Should I go away and just pretend
perhaps this love affair really didn't end

Should I look down
or maybe away

Maye it wasn't you and another
maybe we did stray

What should I do
perhaps I'll just make believe it wasn't even you

and walk on by

Monday, September 19, 2011

Sons of Bitches - bad bitches

Dear Mothers of Daughters,

Guess what? We mothers of sons love our sons too. We think they are precious, valuable, and second to none. We think they are great, we think they are competent, we think they hung the effin moon! IF we raised them correctly.

We taught them to respect women, how to . . .address women, and what to look for in a woman. We showed them by example - if we did it correctly, how a woman should conduct herself. We chastised them roughly and thoroughly when they deserved it.  We loved, hugged, kissed and nurtured them equally as hard. We taught them when to be firm, and when to soften their grip - when we did our job correctly.

We were strict on them, we pushed them, we guided them. We loved them too.

Stop fooling your daughters into thinking it's Prince Charming or the boogie man. Stop allowing your daughters to think if her relationship fails it's "his" . . ."because he didn't appreciate the woman you are". Answer me this - how prepared did YOU make your daughter to handle a man - her man? What steps did you take to instill virtue in your daughter to be a virtuous woman? Did you teach her to think - independently? Did you teach her to believe in Prince Charming, but when he comes along she needs to have game to keep Prince Charming? Did you teach her to keep her home neat, presentable, and clean? Did you teach her how to do laundry? How to prepare a satifying meal? Did you teach her the answer is NOT between her thighs, because guess what - we all came into this world with the equipment to screw one way or another. Or did you teach her that she will be screwed if she doesn't know how to carry herself correctly?

Because you know, we mothers of sons certainly told our sons all of this. We taught them to have your own - thoughts, processes, finances, plan, place, and successes mapped out. Therefore, the first little miss that comes around shaking her ass or her box a Betty Crocker won't hym him [them] up. We thaught them real sh** from bullsh**. We taught them you can't make a ho a housewife - period! We taught them - if she creeps with you, she'll creep on you. We put game in our sons. So what is your reason for not instilling game in your daughter? I am not talking about playing games - we taught our sons that gets people hurt. But having game! - gets you noticed and keeps you on point.


So mothers of daughters - please! - stop telling we mothers of sons "you don't understand because you don't have a daughter". Trip on this, I AM a daughter. I am a mother, a sister, an aunt, a GeeGee and foremost a woman. I am a woman of God. A God who so loved the world He gave His only begotten SON.

Dear Mothers of Daughters, guess what - we mothers of sons love our sons immensely too. We think they are precious, valuable, and second to none. We think they are great, we think they are competent, we think they hung the effin moon! When, we raised them correctly. Stop blaming me, us, and our sons because you didn't do your job.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Relationship satisfaction

People abuse the word "relationship". When we are in relationships with think this or that should not or should exist. The question becomes was the should and should nots discussed in the confines, the outlines of the relationship?


The abuse of the word: if you know your mail-carries first name, you have moved into a comfortable relation with you mail-carrier. However, there is not an intimate confirmation in a relationship with our mail-carrier. Intimate is another word that is misused.


Intimacy comes when we - watch this now - when we open up and expose the details of our lives with someone we what? - trust! I have to trust you to share you to share me intimately. Now if you fall falsely on trust of another, that trust become the subject of gossip. Now you have put your business out there by your own actions.  You failed to commit to the diligence of qualifying an intimate relationship you merely wanted to trust. Usually a soul to cosign your nonsense.


The intimacy of trust in a romantic - physically Satisfying - relationship cannot exist without the intimacy of trust. Trust that he is the man he proclaimed to be. That she is the wo-man she claimed to be. Ladies, if he don't step to you with his Real man pants on  - don't take yours off! Gentlemen, if she was a ho when you met her, she is going to be a ho when you date her. . It is not about the need of the physical satisfaction 'cause you can do that by yourself. If ain't got a man you got a hand . . .work it. So it is not about the physical love because everyone you "get with" does not love you and you don't love them. It is about the trust of having a relationship with a person we trust. We can only trust someone if we know and trust ourselves first. To thine own self be true. Stop telling lies to yourself fist.


Most of us are living an unsatisfied life because of the lies we tell ourselves. If we ho-hopping around we say "I will stop when the right one comes around. And I will know if he is the right one". No you won't - because you have a bad vantage point from your knees. We look in the mirror and say "I am not fat - my people or big boneded". It has nothing to do with your momma, daddy, auntie, brother, or sister weight. - you Are indeed Fat. All the high dollar, too tight, too big, or "i'mma get into this next summer" clothes don't guess the fact the you need to take fewer trips to the drive thru and a few more to the whole food grocer.


One of the biggest lies we women allow ourselves to tell ourselves is "he can't handle me 'caue I am a strong educated/smart woman".Huh? If you are all that, how could he Not want you?? What would be lanyap, butta, that is extra nice! Right?


These lies stem from not having the strength of character to accept our own faults. Not being satisfied with who is truly in the mirror. I am not talking about the made-up, make-up selves. Rather, the real woman who needs to trust in being satisfied with the relationship she has not primarily with self, but; with the One she has, where her - our - true unshakable trust and help comes from - GOD.


Stop trying to hide out in your own world and trust in the Kingdom and purpose HE has for you - for us. Jeremiah 29:11 - 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " He knows what you need to be satisfied!

Strengthen your relationship with God, you will not only be satisfied - you will have so little time to bug on anything that does not fall under the Utopia of being Heavenly blessed. The first conversation that should be had in any relationship is "Do you Believe in God?" That will dictate the pace of every conversation and motion in the confines of your intimate relationships.

Trust that.

No furry . . .

Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned

But, after you have wreaked havoc . . . you are still scorned.

And who the hell is going to want to pick up with you after . . .he has examined - or been told - of your carnage?

And at-the-end-of-the-day . . .

He still does not what you or what you represent

So who - really -  are you furious with?

Up There

Why is it my sisters don't speak
We walked side by side
yet our eyes never meet

You stare right through me
as if I wasn't even there
then you turn your nose up
straight up in the air

Or you looks at me
like I stole somethin
maybe you think it was your man and me
off somewheres humpin

You need to quit
and accept this my sister
. . .and brothers
you and me come from the same Mother

Her burden's is our
Her troubles we all share

So come on down baby
What y'all looking for up there

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Sexy Coffee

Brew a strong pot of coffee
Pour a cup
add:
1 shot butterscotch schnapps
1 shot Jose Cuervo Black
Creamer of your choice
Mix
Top with alcohol infused chocolate whipped topping
Drizzle chocolate syrup
ENJOY!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Blocked . . .

I have been thinking about but stuck, on what to write about today. However one thing has been recurring for the past couple of days.

I heard a report on a radio show - I think it was Michael Baisden - one out of every four American is considered obese. By 2016 it will be one of every two adult American will be obese. So what I am stuck on is  - why? Why are we so grossly overweight? I have struggles with my weight for the greater part of my adult life, and - I have suffered through two heart attacks/heart related issues. So I damn sure know better.

The best answer I can come up with is, because we are lazy. Americans take for granted everything! We justify our slothful actions with because we want to and we can. The worse part is we are passing these horrendous habits onto our children. Thus, they will continue the habits, and because we have not instilled in them steadfast actions, thoughts, and practices, a great many of us will bury our children. Bug on that! We will put our children in the grave before their time and because we were to lazy to teach them better.

I have a 15 year-old nephew that if he does not weight 250 plus pounds my name is not what it is. Senseless. And his parents weigh 100 plus pounds more than that.

I have a theory. I call it "syrup sandwiches". You see I know what it is to eat - and enjoy, partly because I didn't know that it was not so enjoyable - but I know what it is like to have a syrup sandwich. Because that was all we HAD to eat. Somewhere in our psyche we came to believe somehow the premise of syrup sandwiches were beneath our offspring. So what now - the person you brought into this world is better than you?!?! Nope!

Those meager meals made us hungry for more. We got our homes younger than our parents purchased theirs. We went further with our education. We did not have to chop cotton, use segregated bathrooms, or shop before sun down because we were not allowed out after dark. We were made stronger, more determined, steadfast, mindful, respectful and appreciative. And, we ate syrup sandwiches.  We had to earn new everything, new clothes, new things, new gadgets, magazines so we could pull out the centerfolds of Right On magazine and plaster the poster of LL Cool Jay on the wall. And we ate syrup sandwiches. We borrowed $5.00 from our parents to get gas in the lawnmower of our fathers, or our neighbors to earn money for Jordache jeans. And we ate syrup sandwiches.

We knew how to get by on meager. We didn't weight 200 pounds and call it "pleasantly plump". There is nothing pleasant about a fat adult. Even less pleasing for a fat child.

We are addicted to food! As we are addicted to over indulgence, and half assing, and laziness - because we can. Because we lost our appreciation of syrup sandwiches. We have bread a generation of people who we made to believe were too good for syrup sandwiches. Too good for what sustained our lives. We have raised a bunch of fat lazy people who believe they are entitled because we are too lazy to tell them "no",

How do we get on track? Now we have to show them better than we can tell them. Baby steps is how we start. When we drive to work park further away. On our breaks - scheduled or not - return to your vehicle and move it even further away. Get in minimally 5,000 steps a day. Increase those steps from week to week. Eat your food on a smaller plate. Chew slowly. Drink more water. Chase those bad ass kids around the house or around the yard. If you have anything to do on the weekend that is within a one mile radius - walk. It does not require a gym membership. Walking is free.

If our bodes are our temples then lets treat ourselves fundamentally better. Lets create better bodies on the strength of syrup sandwiches, hold the crap and - unblock our minds, unblock bad habits, help unblock our arteries - and give our kids a healthy helping of  a syrup sandwich!  Unlock their potential.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

This time I want to be selfish

Make my self fit

Into a mirror

To draw nearer and dearer to

Who I want to be   . . . fulfill my destiny

Build confidence in me

                Damn I am fine



And you  . . .who do you choose to be

Can’t be me

It takes what it take

The cool thing is you can already make

What is needed to be successful

Chill . . .make it less stressful

                Damn you are fine


The vine is ripe with our fate

They . . . “them” in you and me

The use they will be

Raising young ladies and men . . . to be REAL men

Girls to be women

Strong, beautiful and secure

Not meek and demure . . .that ain’t cute no way

                Damn we are fine

Hush yo' speak . . .

Whatever you are talking about if it does not benefit you, the person you are talking to or talking about don't tell it. Proverbs 18:21:21Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].(A)

We all have things, issues, processes, experiences we have survived. If we don't share a story or encounter to benefits then we are doing one of two things: gossiping or seeking sympathy - either is destructive, or even pathetic.

We need to speak life and love into situations. Uplift one another. "Girl, I know what you are going through, but I came out of it by doing . . . " most importantly share how you came through. We all have opinions - and as the saying goes we them and like assholes - they stink. Unless - we are offering advise to edify whoever ear you are bending keep it to yourself.

Speak life into dead situations. Not and not leave, or doubt, or give up. Speak encouragement, not bulls***, don't offer someone the opportunity to wallow or dwell at the bottom because you didn't have the wherewith all or courage to come up. We know misery loves company - so the question becomes why are you miserable and why would you want to spread that dis-ease? Don't seek company seek an outlet.

Don't allow anyone to come in the middle of a conversation and leave the same way they entered - empty. Our duty to fellows, to sisterhood, to ourselves is to move forward! Be an example of how it can be done differently. Let us not succumb to nonsense.

I read a quote once when I myself was going through a battered woman counseling session - "It's not your fault you got knocked down. It is your fault if you stay down". Do not stay down and do not put someone down with a story, gossip, or a straight a up lie.

Speak up and speak well. Don't tell that story if it is not going to benefit you, the person you are talking to, or the issue you are talking about.

Speak life.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I hope I get this right - I hope we get it . . .

I have been thinking about this word - hope. It struck me that "hope" is an action word, a verb of audacity.

If you have the nerve, the gall, the Courage, the enthusiasm to hope, you must also posses the courage to follow through.

See, I figured hope standing alone is just a lovely word. But with substance, bears the chance of successful application toward your - our - hoped desire.

So hope mirrors prayer. Prayer without action will comeback void. I would liken it to a prayer that may go . . ."God, I am praying on bent knees, humbly before You for a job . . ." So now we come off our knees to sit on our ass and Think some form of employment is going to track us down, knock on our door, and say here I am now come on let's go on out and buy you that Bentley.

Prayer and hope require, demand courage and action. More importantly prayer and hope require faith.

I think it is Hebrews 11:1 - you Bible scholars don't over examine me on this - but, Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the substance of things hoped fora and the evidence of things not seen.  Hope, pray, take acation and have faith - that God will see that it will all come to be.

We can do more than hope, we can have faith in believing.

Ok - last one, them I'm going to actually have something to say - tomorrow. This is: Whose is it

Whose is it

What is this new attention
seeping inside you
swelling up
erect
causing you to drift

Who is this
dispelling naughty little nothings
in my unconditioned ear

This new interest teaching you
a new way to play be between my thighs
seducing me with your artificial rise

Unrecognized affection
suspect erection
some lubricious instructor
creating new movements
anonymous conductor

Clouding your memory
confusing my name
this stranger in my bed
thoughts and times
still in your head

Whose is it

Heartbeat

I cannot recall my hearts cadence before you

Now you are gone - I don't know if it will recall a rhythm again

Love Speak

We are better when we can speak of love

Mesmerising brilliant agony
     of love

Its endless possibilities
the you in me

I am better when we can speak of love

Moodiness melts away
     giving sway
          to our speak of love

If all we have is this
then let's
speak
     of love
          in love
               about love       and its painful bliss

Get this
          language right
Tonight

Speak only in love  

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Dream thieves . . . bears repeating

Beware of dream thieves - I am talking friends, family, spouses, or significant others. Folks that are afraid if you come up and out of the muck you will leave them behind. If they do not get you or cannot get with it, leave their behinds, behind. You - nor you all - will never survive.
Everything isn't meant for everyone to know and hear. Especially the fearful.
 


My Beautiful Black Brown Man . . .

When questioned about how could "I" being the beautiful Black kindred Soul Sister that I am accept a beautiful brown, Black man - of my body, and brain - who does not particularly favor to be to be down with the Beautiful dark brown.

My retort was quite simple - "My big beautiful Black, brown bodied off-spring houses in his beautiful big Black, brown body a red blooded pumping heart  which is so baaaad and Un-biased it knows love. And knows that love knows no color - to which I boldly love and applaud.

So what do I say? Bravo Black man - bravo.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

What I believe

It dawned on me that since I had the gall, the . . .audacity to write/start this blog - with strong steadfast lol encouragement - it should at least be about something. Should definitely say something. What is it that "I" should say? Perhaps it should say and endorse what I believe. So here it goes . . .

I believe in God. The Heavenly Father, the creator of all things. I believe He made Heaven, and earth, and Man. I believe He made Adam first for a reason. And from Adam, a help mate - woman, Eve. I believe in the alignment of God's purpose for us: God, Jesus, Man, Woman, and child.

I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe God loved us so much that He turned His words into flesh and that flesh was/is Jesus. I believe Jesus was created and born for the purpose of being a worthy sacrifice for our behalf. I believe as men and women we fell well short of being worthy of being offered up for God. And I believe if not for Jesus,  . . .I believe we would have been obliterated.

I believe in the Holy Bible as the instructional love letter and outline of how we should live life from God to us - then and now. I believe in The Bible's works, writings, words and truths. I believe a great many of us are afraid of The Bible's works, writings, words, and truths because once we know - well then we would know. From knowing we would have to do better. I believe some people are simply afraid to do better because then the die would be set and the bar could never again be adjusted down.

I believe my favorite book of The Bible is probably "songs of Solomon (Song of Songs) for the poetry of love in that book is so pure, and powerful. " . . .Dark I am, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon . . . " Song of Solomon (Song of Songs) 1:5. I believe Black is Beautiful. I believe she knew exactly what her loves' - King Solomon - boudoir curtains looked like because she believed in his love for her.

I believe in the woman in Provers 31: - and I believe we have let our daughter's down by falling short in rearing them to be this woman rightfully. I believe in the character of Ruth in The Book of Ruth . . .oh Ruth, Ruth, Ruth . . . I believe that will be a separate journal entry.   I believe in the strength of women, but I don't believe we should be strong in making some one else feel weak. I believe women have a place and a mark of strength, but I do not believe it is over our men. I believe that statement could cause some feedback and I believe I would be ready to back it up.

I believe as women we are too hard on ourselves. I believe there is a happy medium in relying on the strength of our character in believing in ourselves and believing in fairy tales. Not childish things but I don't believe being rescued from ourselves would be a bad thing. Some times we believe to readily and handily and lopped sided(ly) in  ourselves alone - and we end up alone and wonder why.

I believe welfare was the destruction of Black homes because it deceptively lead us to believe we could raise families by ourselves - and I don't believe that is how our families should be designed. I believe the  . . . definition of family has been redefined, but we should still believe in family fist . . .we should. I believe the first recorded example of playa' hating, however; is in the Bible - Cain and Able - family. I believe that too will be interpreted and published by me in a later entry.

I believe, I hope this electronic journal formed from my interpretation, my personal values, my beliefs, could make a believer believe.

I believe this probably should have been my first entry, but I believe "Love Cup" was beckoning to go first - I believe I made the right choice.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Closed door . . . (poetic pain)

I remember when you left
My body could not believe it
Mind could not conceive it

The thought of you being gone
This is so so wrong

My arms cried out
My lips from quiver to pout

Heart's pounding damn near stopped
     Pressure
          Dropped

This is more than we can comprehend
Every limb
Shut down

We nearly died from the deafening lack of sound

Mind stopped dreaming
Love has no meaning

Remembering when you went away
The saddest sad day

I broke down and sat in the middle of the floor
Vision blurry
Staring at the door - love don't live here no more

Behind this closed door